Marriage creates a new family. Though you will always love and respect your parents, your mate is now the most important person on earth for you. This may be difficult for some of your relatives to accept. But Bible principles can help you to find a balance so that you can keep peace with your relatives as you work hard to build your new family relationship.
Maintain a proper view of your relatives
What the bible says: “Honor your father and your mother.” (Ephesians 6:2) Regardless of how old you are, you always need to honour and respect your parents.
Recognize that your mate too, as a son or a daughter, needs to give attention to his or her parents. “Love is not jealous,” so never feel threatened by the relationship your mate has with them.—1 Corinthians 13:4; Galatians 5:26.
Recognize that your mate too, as a son or a daughter, needs to give attention to his or her parents
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
- Avoid making broad statements, such as “Your family always put me down” or “Your mother never likes what I do”
- Try to see things from your mate’s perspective
Be firm when necessary
What the bible says: “A man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) When you marry, your parents may feel that they are still responsible for you, and they may want to be more involved in your marriage than they should be.
It is up to you and your mate to agree on what boundaries you will set for them and then lovingly let them know. You can be open and direct without being rude. (Proverbs 15:1) Humility, mildness, and patience will help you build a warm relationship with your relatives and continue “putting up with one another in love.”—Ephesians 4:2.
What you can do: If you are concerned about how much the relatives are involved in your life, discuss it with your mate when things are calm. Come to a mutual agreement on how you will take care of these matters
Try to understand
It is important to understand your parents’ feelings and their point of view. They do not mean any harm with their involvement. They genuinely care about you. It can be difficult for your parents to view you and your mate as an independent family. They may even feel abandoned. But by following Bible principles and by having open communication, you will still be able to honour your parents without compromising your marriage.
Why is it natural for my mate’s parents to be interested in our marriage? How can I put my mate first and, at the same time, show respect for my parents?